Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays to all. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and is looking forward to a good Christmas (and good Yule for my Wiccan friends). I had a great Thanksgiving seeing all my family. My aunt, Uncle and cousins that came in from Phoenix. It was awesome. My Aunt Pam got all crazy and put on my brothers hat and just was funny. It was a blast. The picture to the right is my cousin Bailey. She is pretty awesome. We had fun just chilling and talking.

After Thanksgiving, on black Friday, my mom went out shopping and my boys went with Jason. They are with him till Tuesday. I have definitely had a blast without the kids here. Not that I dont miss them, because I do. It has just been a nice break. Friday night, my best friend Heather and I went out and had some drinks. a nice girls night out. Then last night I went over to my boyfriends house. Thats right, I said boyfriend. Jesse and I have become very serious and I am loving it. He cooked dinner and sang me a song that he wrote just for me. It was his way of telling me he loved me. Then he just flat out said he loved me. I was so thrilled because I have fallen in love with him. He is just my perfect guy. He score and 11 out of 11 on my list of things I want in a man. I mean, perfect score, that never happens. And the fact the he took the time to write me a song and preform it for me. I mean, that is romance right there. He is just so amazing. I love him so much.

So, needless to say, I have had a good weekend. I hope all of you have a great weekend as well. Happy Holidays and Blessed Be!

Just another day....

Been having fun with the kids these past few days. Getting ready for Thanksgiving. The boys and I are gonna make mashed potatoes. It will be super fun. I will make sure to take photos of them mashing the potatoes so I can put them up on my blog for all to see. They really are such adorable little boys. I feel very blessed to have my little ones. My whole life I have wanted to be a mother and now that I am, it doesn't seem real at times. Some days I wake up and see my little boys laying in bed and think, I am so lucky to have them. I cant believe that I am mom. I may have started young but it was worth it. I would not change any of it. My sons are my whole world and they have good fathers. I may not be with the fathers but I know they love my kids. 

Jim has always been a great daddy, Has been since before Chandler was born. Chandler loves him to death and I am so happy that he is in his life. I love to see them together, the way the act when they are together. I know it has been hard for Chandler not having Jim around since he went to boot camp. However, I do know that once Jim is done and has a stable home, Chandler will be spend lots of time with him. Jim is one of my best friends and I know it did not work out between us but I know it was for the best. We were meant to be friends, not lovers. Because he now has an amazing wife and 4 step kids that are so lucky to have him. I miss my friend and I know Chandler misses him too. But it wont be long now. 

Jason is a good father too. Jayden loves him so much. Sometimes it may seem that Jayden doesn't miss him but the second he sees a picture or hears us talk about him, he wants his daddy. It is so sweet how much he loves him. I just wish he could see him more often. I know it is hard on Jayden and Jason not being together all the time. But I am hoping that soon, Jayden will get to spend time with his father. 

I did not intend on this post to be about my sons fathers but that's what it ended up being. Oh well, needed to be said. I made so cute little babies and I could not have done it without the help of the men my boys call Daddy. Blessed Be!

Friday Night!

I am so excited. Only one day left till I get to see my sweet Jesse. I wish today was Friday so I could see him. He is such a romantic. I love that. I have a very good feeling about this date. We talked on the phone for a little bit yesterday. I love the sound of his voice. I cant wait till I get to hear him sing. And he says he wants to cook for me. I must be special. Maybe for our next date he can cook for me. I am just so excited to see him and hug him. Maybe do a little kissing. LOL. We will see where things go. Blessed Be!

Just Living Life...

Sorry it has been a while. Just been living it up with my kidos. It has been hard since Jason left but we are dealing. The boys don't seem to miss him at all. They are strong little dudes. Well he have just been having a blast together. For the first time I took my kids to the zoo by myself. I was very proud. They loved it. I did to. It was nice to get out of the house. We don't do that much these days. 

Zoo trip was fun though. I wanted the kids to feed the giraffes. They were so excited about doing it. That is, until they got up to the giraffes and saw how big they were. Then they got scared. But we still had fun. They learned a lot too. There was docents all over the zoo. Everywhere we went, the boys learned about animals. They were so cute. 

I have been just doing school work and wait impatiently for the semester to end. Its getting close. I have done all my midterms and only have 6 or 7 weeks left. Doing good though. And I am getting over Jason. I have actually gone out on a date. No second date for that guy though. He spent the whole time making jokes about my age. He was 33 so he thought it would be funny to poke fun at how young I am the whole time. It got annoying real quick. But I do have a date with this other guy on Friday. I am looking forward to this date. This guy is perfect for me. He plays guitar, he sings, he is so hot, he loves kids, he has a kid, and the best part of all is he has a real job. the 3 years Jason and I were together, he olny had one job and he quit it like the day after I had Jayden. But this guy has a good job. Hoping that he isn't to weird or sarcastic to where I would now go on a second date. But we have been taling for a while now and I am really starting to like him.

I guess that is all for now. I am sorry for any of you that have been following my other blog, Needles and Hooks, but I have just not had a whole lot of time to knit or crochet. But I promise I will have another video up soon. Hope everyone had a good Halloween. Ours was good. Had a good Samhain as well. Blessed Be to all!!!

Life is a roller coaster...

Sorry it has been so long. I know I have been starting my posts like that for a while now. Things have just been very crazy around here. I am very sad to say that Jason and I are no longer together. It was ended a little over a week ago. It was a mutual split but still hurts. He however will say I am the one that dumped him but to me it doesn't matter. I have been having some issues this last week. I don't really know how to function without him yet. He was a huge part of my life for 3 years. And as I look back at my adult life, I have never truly been alone. I have always had a boyfriend or roommate. And now, not having Jason, I am realizing that I need to be alone for a while. Spend some time just focusing on me and the kids. Just the three of us. 

I still hate laying in bed, not having Jason there. I guess I just have to get used to being apart from him and being alone with no men. No emotional complications. Not entirely sure how I will do but I will try. Blessed Be!

School, school, and more school!

Sorry about the time between posts. It has been crazy since I started school. I have been loving it but it is hard. The boys make it a little more difficult to get homework done and stuff. Plus since Jason moved to Phoenix, it makes it hard too. But I am managing. I am taking 2 classes with my brother so it makes it a little nicer and the study groups are good. 

Now, along with doing school and taking care of two very energetic boys, I have been making Christmas gifts for everyone. I have one done already but I still have a lot to do. I have started another blog just for my craft stuff so check it out if you have a chance. The link is on my blogger profile. 

Well that is all for now since I have a crap load more homework to do. Blessed Be!

Sorry it has been so long.

I'm sorry it has been so long since I have blogged. It has been a bust month. Obviously I am back from Flagstaff. Though, I wish I was still there. I loved it there.  But Tucson is my home and it is where I am to stay. At least for the next couple of years. I have enrolled in Pima Community College and will be starting my first class on August 24th. I am excited that I am back in school. I am going to get an Art degree. I am majoring in Art History with a minor in Photography. I am happy that I am doing this finally. I think I am in a place where I can now. I have my depression and anxiety under control for the most part. Plus I will be doing my first class, which is Pre-Algebra (Ugh), with my brother, who also just enrolled. We are going for the same degree but his major is in sculptural art, like glassblowing and ceramics. However, all of our Gen Ed classes are practically the same. 

My kids have been having a blast since their birthday with all the toys they got. Jayden is getting really good at talking and Chandler is almost able to write his whole name. I couldn't be happier. Jason is having some trouble with his schooling but we are working it out. Our anniversary is coming up on Tuesday. August 2nd we will have been together for three years. My longest relationship ever. I know some people might not think so, but I am happy with Jason. He is the love of my life. I could not imagine life without him. We have, however, chosen to postpone our wedding till December 15th of next year. Money is just super tight right now and we did what we had to do.

So that is pretty much this last month in a nut shell. I will try to blog more often. Sorry it had been so long. Blessed Be!

Checking in from Flagstaff!

I am here in Flagstaff, AZ with my loving family. My grandmother, cousin, my kids and I all came here for a nice little vacation. I love it here. It is so nice. Not near as hot as Tucson. I am loving all the green and the kids are loving the pool and the fact that the condo we are staying in has an upstairs. We have been having a fun time. We are here till Friday and I will be so sad when we leave. It is so beautiful up here. The vacation resort we are staying at has a nice little recreation center with a nice pool that the kids loved. It also has a mini golf course. I have yet to take the kids but I will.

Tomorrow we are going to go to downtown Flagstaff and do an art class with the children. I think it will be really fun. Today we did the mall. The boys played in the little play place and my cousin, Blythe, and I shopped a little. We went to Hot Topic and got some T-shirts. We had a lot of fun. Sorry for the lack of pictures. I am using my grandmothers laptop and I don't have any pictures on it yet. 

We still have lots of fun things to do this week and I cant wait to see the other things my grandma has in store.

One thing that I am doing this week is not smoking. I didn't bring any cigarets with me on this trip. I did get a little crazy today and attempted to walk to a store that might have some but there is not any store even close to where we are staying. I think Blythe  and I walked for like 5 miles and found nothing so we came home. It was a good thing though because I think that if I can make it this week without smoking I may be able to finally quit. I am hoping. 

Well I guess that is all for now. I will check in again when I am back home. And that time I will have photos. Blessed Be!

GC Concert Rocked!

I know that it has been quite a while since the concert, but i have been busy. It was awesome though. I was so close, I loved it. They played a lot of older songs from the other albums which was cool. Of course I knew all the songs. It was epic. They really know how to put on a show. Blythe and I didn't stay for Yellowcard but Runner Runner was awesome. Then, of course, Good Charlotte was the best. Blythe and I had so much fun. 

We got there early, which was good because there was already a crap load of people in front of us. Not to bad though. We were still up next to the stage. As we were waiting in line, a guy was walking around with a camera asking people if they wanted to be in a GC music video. Of course, I said yes and did some dumb little dances on camera. It was the video for 1979 and I cant wait to see if I am in it. 

Runner Runner was real good. They knew haw to put on a show. After GC, we met one of the Runner Runner guys. He was awesome. Good Charlotte came on and everyone screamed, including me. I was super excited. Benji looked so hot. So did all of them but you know me, I am a Benji girl all the way. The show was awesome. Benji was making us all laugh because every time Joel was talking, Benji would interrupt and say that he was talking now. Although, Benji used the word "man" a lot. He actually sounded stoned the whole time but maybe he just talks like he is stoned a lot. It didn't make him any less hot. The show was great and we got some good stuff from the Merch stand. I got a shirt and a necklace and Blythe got a shirt and bracelet. We had a blast and I cant wait till they come to town again so I can see them again. Blessed Be!

Only 8 more days....

Only 8 more days till I get to see the greatest band ever preform live at the Rialto Theater, here in Tucson. I cant wait. I am gonna get there early so that Blythe and I can be right up front. I want to be able to smell the sweat dripping of of the amazingly hot members of Good Charlotte. 

Of course, I will only be up front if my stupid ankle heals in time. Just 4 days ago, I fell through my porch stairs and sprained my ankle something fierce. The doctor said I would be fine for my concert and I hope so, because I do not want to go to this concert on crutches. That would suck. But what wont suck is that I will be so close to my wonderful Benji Madden that I could reach out and touch him. Well at least that is what I am hoping for. I really want to be able to ask Benji for some article of his clothing. I know that sounds weird but I have always wanted something that he has worn. I am not a stocker, as I am sure most of you are thinking, I am just a big fan. I just cant wait. Only 8 more days baby WOOT! Blessed Be!

Photo is from Good Charlotte Concert in 2008 that I went to and is of Benji and Joel

25 Days

Only 25 more days till i get to see the totally awesome Good Charlotte in concert here in Tucson at the Rialto Theater. I am stoked. I saw them in concert back in 2008 but that was at the Marque and that is a big venue. The Rialto is small so no matter where I am at I will be able to see them clear as day. No more crappy picture. I will be getting some good ones. Plus I am going with my cousin who is awesome and fellow Good Charlotte fan. It is gonna rock. Blythe says that she is gonna help me get Benji's shoe. I probably wont but it is worth a shot. I just cant wait. I am counting down the days on my Facebook page. It is gonna ROCK! Blessed be to all.

Up and Down Day...

I guess you could say that today is happy and sad at the same time. On the happy side, my best friend Heather is only one month from the birth of her son. She is due June 11th and is so excited. This is her first baby and she is having a boy which is what she has wanted forever. She even picked a really cool name. She is going to name him Roddrick. It is awesome. And we are having her baby shower this Saturday. I am so happy for her. Growing up all her and I wanted was to be moms and now we both are. Its great!

And then to make today happier, in one month  and one day, I will be attending a concert by my favorite band, Good Charlotte. And the best part is that they are coming to a small venue so no matter where I am, I will see them up close. I so can't wait.

But then we go to a sad/happy note. I am not sure whether or not I should even be sad. Today is my cat's 9th birthday. If you have been following me from the start, you will know that my cat, Dongwa, went missing in November 2010. I still see him now and then but can never get him to come home. I miss he so much but I know that the only reason he has not come back is because he believes that he is no longer needed here and needs to go make another witch happy. I still miss him but in the happiest of ways, I say Happy Birthday Dongwa John. I love you.

Our America...

As I am sure most of you already know, Osama Bin Laden has finally been killed. A goal that took our country 10 years to achieve. And I know that gave Obama a nice set of votes for the next presidential election. But what I am sure most people are not worrying about right now is the chaos that is stirring in our own backyards. 

I foresee that after the election of a new president, our country is going to break out into a civil war. And I just have to say that if that does happen, my boys and I are gonna hop our happy butts over the Canadian border. That's right, I will leave this country. America is supposed to be a country full of people that stand up for their beliefs but also that stands together as a nation. Our country is dividing. It is gonna be the Obama hatters vs. the rest of us. And I would rather leave the country I grew up in, the country I love, then to be forced to hate people I know, that I care about. I will not look into the eyes of a loved on and kill them because that is what our side does. It will not happen. So if any of you are like me, I will see you in Canada one day. Blessed Be!

Majestic Cat!

I am so in love with this beautiful big cat. This cat is the sweetest looking thing in the world. It is the Black Jaguar! Also known as the Panther. This cat can not be described in words. So for the first time, I will be posting a photo entry. Enjoy!

Is Love Enough?

Is love enough? It love ever enough? What is it that makes a relationship last? I wish I knew these things. I wish I knew what I could do to make it good enough for him. What to do to make him really happy. I wish I knew these things. Why am I not good enough? I was good enough for 2 1/2 years, why not now. Why is this relationship not good enough. What is it he is expecting of me. I know I am not the greatest housekeeper but I manage just like anyone else. But then again, maybe that is not it. Maybe he is just wanting to move on and see someone new who is skinny and blonde and beautiful. Maybe he just doesn't want to be married to a plain jane wife. I may not be skinny and blonde but I am a cute person. At least I think so. But who knows, I might not even be his type. 

Maybe I am just settling? Do I really think that he is the one for me, that there is no one else out there that can treat me better, that doesn't put me down everyday and make me cry? I don't know. I just can't think about this right now. The last thing I want to think about losing the person that I love. No one wants to think like that. But I need to. I need to figure out what it is that I need to because I have a wedding coming up in a few months and it just wouldn't be a wedding without a groom. I just don't know what to do.

When someone you love is gone.....

When someone you love is gone, it hurts. As since I am sure some of you reading this have lost a loved one, you know how hard it can be. I recently lost someone who was very special to me. My Aunt Sharon was a great woman. I miss her so much. 

One of the hardest things to do after you lose someone you love is getting back to reality. It's like the world stops around you when you find out and you just don't want to believe that it is true. Your mind melts and even after you have finished crying out all the tears you have, it still seems so surreal. It has been 8 days since my aunt passed and I still can't wrap my head around it. I keep thinking that that I could go over to my grandmothers and see her sitting there in the dinning room just so happy to see me. 

I will always miss her. Everyday I know I will hurt but it will get better with time. I just know that everything happens for a reason. Blessed Be!

Counting the Days....

I am counting down the days till my wedding. It is so close now that I can almost taste it.  I just cant believe that in just 7 short months I will be Mrs. Jason Cochran. I just cant wait. And to make this moment even better, yesterday I my wedding dress was shipped. My perfect dress will be here in just one short week. When I saw this dress, I cried. I would post a picture of my dress but just in case my wonderful future husband is reading this, I don't want him to see it. But trust me, after the wedding, I will post the wedding photos all over my blog.  I am just so excited. 

The Renaissance Theme that we are doing is just perfect. I want to see my wonderful man standing at the end of the isle waiting for me to walk down and become his wife. And we are getting married under this beautiful arch in my grandparents backyard. It is just going to be wonderful. As I am writing this now I am tearing up. I am just so happy. I am happy that I my dream is finally happening. I have been dreaming about my wedding since I was 14. And now, after being engaged for 2 years, it is finally happening. I will be a married women in just 7 months. And after the wonderful ceremony and reception, my new husband and I will be on a plane to LAX for our 5 day honeymoon at Disneyland, California Adventure, and Hollywood Boulevard. I know I have said it like 17 times or something like that but I am excited. Blessed Be!

Job or Career?

When do you know when you want to make the huge step from having just a job to having a career? I am now 24 and I know that what I really want to do is be a photographer but I need something that will get me to that point. Something that I will love and maybe even continue after I have what I need for photography. And I have found it, I hope. 

Stampin' Up! A wonderful crafting company that I personally own many products from. I am going to see if I can be a Demonstrator for Stampin' Up. I will hold classes and workshops so that I may show others how to create something that I have imagined in my head. Something that is full of my creativity. I am so excited about it. I have so many ideas that I want to share with the world, well maybe just the city for now. 

Stampin' Up has the greatest stuff when it comes to handmade cards, home decor, scrap-booking and so much more. There is so much you can do and I urge you all who read this to support me by visiting my website when I get one and purchasing craft supplies from me. I will let everyone know when I have all that information. Blessed Be!

Puppy Love!

You know I never thought that I would be one to get into thew whole "Small Dog" craze but the more I look, the more I realize that I really want a tiny pup. I want a dog that I can carry with me everywhere just to make me feel good. Since all the depression that I have been battling lately, I just want something that truly makes me feel good. Don't get me wrong, I love my cats and kids but I just want a cute little puppy to ease my mind and to love. I think I know what I want to. I know that it has to be small and I don't need pure breed. But I want a Pomeranian or a Chihuahua. They are just so sweet looking. Plus they are the right size. I am leaning more towards a Pom. I don't want to be one of those Paris Hilton wannabes. But if the right Chihuahua comes along I wont say no. One of the things that drives me crazy is that people care more about making a buck then they do about their animal. I see people all over the internet wanting good homes for their dogs but want you to pay 100-300 bucks for them. There is a limit to where re-homing fees become selling. I just hope to find one soon. I really want a puppy. Of course now I have to convince my mom to let me get one. Blessed Be!

A Birthday Wish.....

As most of you who read my blog already know, I am a huge Good Charlotte fan. And today is a very special day. On this day, March 11th, in the year 1979, two very talented men came into the world. Benjamin Levi Madden and Joel Ruben Madden. The graced their parents on a Sunday. These men are well respected musicians and known world wide for their charity work. Their music has touched the hearts of many, including mine. Their lyrics are soothing to the soul and their voices like angles. They have helped me through many hard times in my life. Just one example of a song that has touched the lives of many is Hold On:

"Hold On, if you feel like letting go,

Hold On, its gets better than you know. 

Don't stop looking, your one step closer,

Don't stop searching, its not over

Hold On, if you feel like letting go,

Hold On, It gets better than you know,

Hold On"

That song helped me through times that i thought I wouldn't survive. And many other songs have played huge roles in my life, such as Emotionless. That song helped me get over my father leaving. Their words are shear poetry and I thank them for giving it to the world. Thank you. 

So today a raise a toast to two great men, Benji and Joel. Happy Birthday. 

I would also like to say happy birthday to my friend Mike who is lucky enough to share this day with the Madden twins. Happy Birthday Mike!

Wedding is on the way!

I am so excited I could wet myself. Well, not really. All i know is that my wedding is just around the corner now. I just finished the work on the Save The Dates and are ready to be dropped in the mailbox and mailed to all who are invited to the wedding. Well, with the exception of one of my friends who lives out of the country, he got his by email. I just cant believer that in just 7 months, I will be Mrs. Jason Cochran. It will be the most wonderful day of my life. I am so thrilled that I want to shout to the world my joy I am feeling. Oh I cant Wait.

I am super pleased with the Save The Dates. Over 50 of them, all hand made by me. It gets boring after w awhile but is worth it. I just want to be with he man I  love for the rest of my life. He is my whole world and we will have a great marriage, I hope. LOL. I just love him and cant wait to be his wife. Blessed Be!

Higher Education!

I think that everyone can benefit from higher education. I was enrolled in Apollo College, now Carrington College, until they decided that I was not good enough for their school. Due to medical reasons, I tried to get a leave of absence so that my financial aid would not get messed up. However, Carrington College decided that mental health was not a good enough reason to grant a leave of absence so they dropped me. Pissed me off. But, the world works in mysterious ways. I don't mind anymore. It gave me time to think about what I really want to do with my life. 

Photography! I just love photography. It is my passion. That is what I want to do with my life. I can go to Pima Community College for much cheaper then Carrington. And I think I will be much happier as a photographer then a vet tech. 

 I believe that I am rather good at what I do. Just take a look at some of my work. Maybe you will think the same way. 

I know that is what I want to do with my life and I am excited about it. Blessed Be!

Fresh Ink!

I am so stoked. Today, at exactly 1:30 pm MST, my skin was pierced for the fist time with ink. Thanks right, I got my very first tattoo. I love it.It is so me in every way. those who are reading this and know me, will agree. I knew that my first tattoo had to be about my kids. They are my life. I love them dearly. Then I knew I needed to add some of me in there. And I did.

The triquatra is my Wiccan sign. It is the symbol of me and all my magic. I knew that was what I wanted. I am so pleased with the results. I will defiantly go back to Fast Lane Tattoo for all my other tattoos. Blessed Be!